when she calls
remember when we were on the sofa watching tv? you asked if it makes me mad when she calls. i don't think i answered you. maybe i said no, it doesn't. it doesn't. it used to be shocking. every time disturbing, but i'm used to it now. it just is. it doesn't make me mad, but it makes me sad to hear the way you speak to her. your voice. you sound so unexpectedly tender. you sound resigned. you say all right a lot, or okay on your end. and i can only imagine what sort of things she is telling you. it confuses me to hear you talk to her. reminds me of your life when i'm not there. reminds me that i shouldn't be here in your life at all. i don't fit in. i am lost. so why am i here?
that night she called at two in the morning. it woke both of us up. you voice was so calm. you said it's two. then you said me too. then you said bye and hung up. i could tell your body had stiffened and your eyes were staring into the night. you turned to the side and i wrapped my arms around you. i couldn't sleep anymore. when we awoke again in the morning you were dressed and showered even before i opened my eyes. standing on the side of the bed. she stole the morning from me. you propping up your pillow and sitting next to me with coffee, my head in your lap. me watching you get out of bed, into the shower, into clothes to start the day. your day started before i woke up. you told me she called to tell you that she loves you.
and i heard you say me too...
that night she called at two in the morning. it woke both of us up. you voice was so calm. you said it's two. then you said me too. then you said bye and hung up. i could tell your body had stiffened and your eyes were staring into the night. you turned to the side and i wrapped my arms around you. i couldn't sleep anymore. when we awoke again in the morning you were dressed and showered even before i opened my eyes. standing on the side of the bed. she stole the morning from me. you propping up your pillow and sitting next to me with coffee, my head in your lap. me watching you get out of bed, into the shower, into clothes to start the day. your day started before i woke up. you told me she called to tell you that she loves you.
and i heard you say me too...
posted by korryne at 1:37 AM
1 Comments:
I don't mind that there is love there. If ever love was real then there should always be a remnant, and it should always be treated tenderly, after all it is the last of a life that will never be beautiful again. So he said, "You, too." So he said those words as he layed with you, said because he knows the shell of another love and he fears that it may happen again. He took the morning to talk himself out of hope and silly childhood thoughts that it may not happen this time. Your morning was stolen by his fear and anticipation that next time, with you he may be the voice on the phone. You may be the gentle, "You, too." The "You, too." That really means never again, and I'm sorry it hurts but not sorry it's gone.
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