love is a fragile thing

i love your -lys when we are on the phone. how badly you want me when ordinary people would say so bad. i love the sound of your voice no matter what you are saying. i love it when you speak softly and you voice gets low. and i love you blowing smoke circles in my car, a cigarette in your hand and to your lips and the smoke on your breath when you kiss me. silly. unreasonable. why do i feel this way about every little thing you do, every single thing you are?

i looked at you for a long time in the theatre light. and i love everything. i could look at you for days. i could be perfect with you. happy. i am already. how long can it last? can it last? it feels possible. it feels likely even. and i am jaded and doubtful about love right now. i am suspicious and on my best behavior. i am being very careful with my heart, but i can't stop it.

i need you to know, but i have no words to make you understand. and maybe i would seem crazy anyway, but i don't think you would see it as crazy. i think you would believe me and think it was wonderful. i could be wrong. i can see you feeling the same way, so maybe there is no need for expression. you must be. or i would be crazy.

i feel the need to hold on, but how to when so much is in the way? and then i feel like i need to stay independent, unwavering, but how can i take the risk of losing you? you already are so much of me. so much a complement to me, i should say.

so i'm excited for our life. i'm losing the feeling of whatever happens is for the best and now i can only see how much i need you. i love you. you make me crazy. and you want to experience life with me. i can't imagine anything better. i try not to say too much. don't want to hold you to words uttered in the dark. in real life you are not yourself. and i never want you unless it is just like this. i can't imagine it changing, but i know anything is possible. and i want you to be sure. i don't want to pressure you into anything with my enthusiasm. i know love is a fragile thing.