all of me

him: will you love me forever?

me: do you think it's too early to talk about forever?

him: do you?

i didn't answer. we were lying in bed with all the lights off. i was so sad. i tried to put it into words.

at first all of these changes. i was happy about them. anything felt possible. i was excited not to know what was next. but something happened. now I'm scared. i feel unsettled, like i need to be sure of what's going to happen next.

him: it's because now, you know what you want.

me: i think that's what it is.

him: and what do you want?

me: you.

him: you have me.

me: kind of.

him: no, not kind of. you have all of me. i want you to be sure of that, confident in that. it is settled.

i felt like i couldn't breathe. i felt myself clinging to him, my hands tightening on his skin. i wanted to cry, but i was too sad. those were the words i needed. i just wish they are true.